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Barb by Proxy

a.k.a, "Why The Hell Doesn't Anyone Listen To Me?"

Startling Evidence Sends Court Into Recess

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Background Noise: Delicate
Random Thought: Is it Saturday yet?
Mood: I love being at work

CHICAGO, IL: AP The proscecution's strong opening witness, their only witness, stated that the defendant had indeed called him earlier last week to check into prices for changing her lock. This testimony is vital to ADA Harrison's grounds that Barb Peters, on trial for double homicide, had indeed premeditated the murders of Betsy Marmol and Autumn Hurst. Prosceutors will rely heavily on this evidence to convict Ms. Peters and do not at this time have any plans to call other witnessess. Taking the floor after the stunning allegations by the locksmith, Billy Flynn for the defense countered with an even more shocking piece of evidenct--feces recoverred from the trash chute at the defendan't s building. Flynn admits that it was a stroke of luck that the trash bins at Atrium Village are emptied on Saturday mornings, mere hours after the bodies were found, allowing the shit into eveidence. Ms. Peters states that she found the offensive material on her kitchen floor Sunday, March 12, at 6 am. The previous night the defendant and the victims had been at the bar, Ms. Peters explaining that they were hanging out with friends of Ms. Marmol and Ms. Hurst from NYC who were in town for a performance of their band. After several hours of tedious conversing with the more rock-headed among the band, Ms. Peters had to end the night prematurely. Ms. Swenson phoned Ms. Peters with bad news, which in turn fueled Ms. Peterss desire to go home. The victims changed their minds about going to the concert and instead accompanied Ms. Peters to her home around 10 pm. Flynn points out that upon arriving Ms. Hurst puked twice and Ms. Marmol passed out after an ill-fated attempt to work the DVD player (to ironically see Just Like Heaven, a film about a dead girl). In cross-examination, Harrison tried to point out that by seeing Ms. Peters home the victims were simply being good friends and not acting in their own self-interest. Proscecution also alledges that the feces could have come from one of Ms. Peter's cats. Expert Excrement witness Gil Grissom stated that "It would have had to be a rather large cat to have left that. A tiger perhaps." After the gruesome exhibits of the morning, the Judge issued a recess until tomorrow morning, most likely realizing that after such evidence the jury would be unable to eat lunch and be expected to return for an afternoon session. It is unknown at this time if Ms. Swenson will be called to testify for her role in abrupt end of the night, as ADA Harrison demanded in a post-court press conference.

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